I can hear the bells...

I know that it has been a very long time since I have updated, but I must inform you of some very serious news. After an extensive time away from my makeshift family, I have returned. I missed them greatly, and I'm fairly certain that some of me short-circuited while I was away. I've been home for a few days now, and this morning... Dr. V. informed me what the bells in my stomach are coming from. I thought she'd adjusted the blender to tell me when I'm hungry, but she said... oh, she said that there is something quite different going on.
She blames Medici, but I am not sure whether or not it is Medici that has done this. I am not even sure if I can believe Dr. V. Either way, I am frightened. Is there a mini-me in there? No, there cannot be! I say no, impossible! Yet, Dr. V. has me questioning... Medici denies it. I feel comfort. Rebel is worried. Xena is suspicious of Dr. V. But I think it's a hoax. Everything will be OK.
- Sally

Metalheads

The other day, I went with Rebel to a strange shop. I've been in one like it before, but not this one. I did not know those strange people. When we walked inside, Lucy was there with a stranger! I was very confused. Then I realized what was happening. They had come to get mechanical devices implanted into their noses - sometimes called "screws." I recognized the emotion that swarmed over me - first, panic, then excitement, then curiosity. I watched the strange man poke holes in my friends. Then, I decided, they are like me... they are now primarily human, partially metal. I love my friends. They did this just for me!

Vampires, pirates, gypsies, oh my.

I know it's been a very long time since I last updated the world on our adventures. I have had an amazing time, learning new things and making new friends.
First, we had a day of piracy. This day, Medici only tried to kill me a few times and taught me about weaponry. I even got my own sword! But she still uses it against me sometimes... We all seemed to take to our pirate roots in different genres, romantic, cyber, steampunk, punk-punk, lolita, and others. It was fascinating to see all the different types of pirates we had become.
Sometime around this day, I found out that my brain is now an iPhone 4. I told Dr. V that I would never play Angry Birds, and just in spite of that, she has it constantly running. No wonder I short circuit all the time. I can't remember anything!
Medici, Rebel, Batman, Lucy and I time-traveled back to the Renaissance. It took us four hours and a sleepover to get there, but we made it! We saw more pirates, gypsies and other chronologically challenged people. I think Medici turned Lucy. Did I tell you? Medici is a vampire-creature. She likes me because I regenerate so quickly. I'm like the perfect food source or something... but I think she still wants my heart. I've been seeing glimpses of this craze in Lucy and it terrifies me. I wonder if she ever attacks Rebel. Hmm... this will need further investigation!
They claim that I am turning into one of them. While I do see characteristics (wiggly fangs) and a strange thirst for flesh, I'm thinking I may be closer to a zombie cyborg than a vampire. I guess time will tell. They keep telling me there will be a transformation at the masquerade... I don't know if I should be scared or excited. Either way, creepy Venetian girls are supposed to be there. I heard that Rebel joined them... and that Xena may already be one of them... it's all starting to make sense now, maybe, possibly...

She Returns

I hadn't seen Dr. V for three days. I was thinking that I may soon be free of my nightmare surgeries! Medici and I even shopped for my first sword together! (I am now a proud owner of my very own cutlass!) But, she returned last night. I am not sure what Dr. V is up to. She made our living quarters more cozy and homey, so I think she's nesting. Perhaps she has plans to keep me happy so her regeneration projects may work better. I met Igoria last night. She was creepy. Dr. V managed to keep her mostly contained. She made me laugh myself into hysterics until I fell asleep. I think she broke my blender...

Party through the bathroom!

Today, while Dr. V was doing pot, I went to the room through the bathroom to play with Lucy and Xena, our landlord. Medici didn't try to kill me when I sat on her bed! In fact, she gave me a knife and tried to teach me how to throw it. Except... she wanted me to throw it at Lucy, my only friend. I think this was some sadistic way of lowering my defenses. Lucy unintentionally booty danced with Medici. I don't think Medici really noticed seeing as she was working on some calculation (most likely devising my death...). When Dr. V came home, Lucy tried to kill her with love and kindness. It didn't work. She sent Lucy away, but Lucy almost escaped with Philip! However, I think Batman helped Dr. V get Philip back, because he's sitting on the desk now. Poor, poor Philip... one day we may all be free!

Heart

Medici threatened to eat my heart. I need to stay away from her. She and her alter ego are dangerous. It's scary that she lives through my bathroom with Batman. Thankfully, Dr. V said she would never touch my heart - not even for money. I think she's going to protect it. That's reassuring.

Lucy

I think that Lucy tried to come over today. I heard a distant sweet voice from my dungeon - I mean, from my room. Dr. V wouldn't let her in. :( That makes me sad.